Over the years I’ve worked with couples who threw out the rulebook entirely — replacing it with something real, meaningful, and entirely them. Whether you’re queer, creative, neurodivergent, or just allergic to beige chair covers, this guide is here to help you plan a wedding that reflects who you are — not what the wedding industry (or your parents, society, co-workers or anyone else!) says you should be.
1. Ditch the “Shoulds”
Full disclosure I have a personal vendetta against the word should – anytime my subconscious starts yelling ‘but you SHOULD’ at me I know it’s time to stop and take a breath. You don’t need to wear white, walk down an aisle, or cut a cake (unless it’s with a sword – then hell yes, let’s do it). Ask yourself:
What would make you feel most comfortable on the day?
What elements actually excite you?
What can you skip without feeling guilty?
Try writing a list: “WTF We Actually Want at Our Wedding.” It can be surprisingly clarifying.
2. Source Your Music Creatively
Instead of booking through agencies who take a chunky cut, consider hiring local musicians, DJs, or even vinyl-spinning friends directly. You’ll not only save money, but also get someone who cares more about vibe than volume. The money you do spend will go directly back to grass roots musicians and we all know they need as much support as they can get!
Check out:
Local open mic nights or pubs/small venues in your area.
Independent DJ collectives in London and beyond.
Instagram hashtags like #LondonWeddingDJ or #QueerMusiciansUK
Ask them what they actually like to play — trust me, the energy is so different when someone isn’t being forced to play Ed Sheeran on loop.
3. Make the Ceremony Yours
Don’t want a church wedding or a registrar reading the same old legal jargon? Hire a celebrant — they can create a ceremony based entirely on your story. It can include personal vows, music, poetry, rituals, or even your dog as the ring bearer.
Check out this guest blog post where Kathryn breaks it down. I’ve shot hundreds of weddings in my time and every time the celebrant led ceremony just hits different.
4. Choose Suppliers Who Get You
The right photographer, florist, or planner doesn’t just “do the job” — they vibe with your values. When you book with someone who gets what you’re about (and doesn’t bat an eye when you say you want to arrive on a bike or wear black), the whole day feels smoother, safer, and more you.
Bonus tip: Always ask vendors how they support LGBTQIA+ couples and what kind of events they feel most at home shooting. If they hesitate? Keep looking.
5. Document It Your Way
Spoiler: posed group shots aren’t compulsory. I focus on capturing people being real — laughing, hugging, crying, dancing badly — because those are the photos you’ll actually want to look back on.
Some of the most iconic weddings I’ve shot had:
Pizza vans instead of plated meals
Tattoos in place of rings
First dances in the pub
Ceremonies in living rooms, art galleries, and warehouses
It doesn’t need to be big. It just needs to be yours.
Final Thought
You don’t need to convince your nan, your dad, your hairdresser or even your registrar that your wedding is valid. You don’t need to do it “right.” You just need to feel like yourselves — whatever that looks like.
And if you’re ready to plan something untraditional, unfiltered, and unforgettable… 📷 Let’s talk.
What is a Celebrant Wedding? & Seven Reasons why they’re awesome!
More and more couples are thinking carefully about their big day. You know you don’t want your wedding ceremony to be the same old, same old standard template, with no personality and with your names (often incorrectly) inserted here and there. You know you want a civil partnership or wedding ceremony that’s personal. You want a relaxed wedding ceremony, that perfectly reflects you. A ceremony that sets the tone and kick starts the celebration and your future, instead of being relegated to just the ‘bit you have to get through’. You want an inclusive wedding or civil partnership ceremony that’s joyful, meaningful and fun, not one that makes you feel like the proverbial square peg when you deserve to feel fabulous. Imagine a wedding ceremony that fits you both perfectly, because it’s been crafted and curated exclusively for you. Imagine a wedding ceremony where every word, every action and every moment has been included with intention, with no elements that feel outdated, uncomfortable or irrelevant, just there because you feel you ‘should’. Imagine a ceremony that doesn’t feel like a chore, but instead a warm, meaningful, wholehearted celebration. A ceremony that you’re just as – if not more – excited about than the party that follows! This is all possible with a celebrant wedding ceremony. Here are ten reasons why a celebrant ceremony is awesome:
1.
With a celebrant – You get a fun, relaxed individually crafted ceremony, that truly reflects you! Not just the standard template…
When you choose a celebrant ceremony, your celebrant will create and craft a personal ceremony where every single word is written just for you both. Your wedding ceremony will start as a beautiful blank canvas, with each element chosen to reflect your relationship.
With a civil or religious ceremony, there are certain ‘legally prescribed words’ that have to be spoken and responded to by you both and you will usually be given a choice of a couple of standard ceremony scripts to choose from with little to no ability to amend them. Lots of couples find that their ceremony options don’t really suit them, their partnership or their family. With limited options in these situations, it can mean the ceremony starts to feel like the bit that you ‘get through’ before starting the party that you’ve spent ages making feel personal to you.
A celebrant ceremony is the opposite of this. It can be as formal or informal as you like, with as many friends, family and loved ones taking part as you like (or not!) it can truly reflect your values as a modern family. Most of all, a celebrant ceremony will be fun, feel-good and fabulous, kickstarting your wedding celebrations!
2.
A celebrant ceremony will celebrate you as individuals
As a celebrant ceremony is not legally required to include specific wording and is crafted as a bespoke ceremony just for you, it is much easier for it to reflect your values and celebrate diversity not leaning on those hetero-normative or patriarchal tropes that often crop up in standard ceremonies…eurgh!
Want to walk down the aisle together with all your parents? Amazing!
Want to involve and honour your chosen family in a fitting way? Fantastic!
Want a ceremony that doesn’t assume a wedding equals children? Definitely!
Want to announce your new, blended surname in a big reveal? Let’s do this!
Lots of the ‘standard wedding wording’ in civil or religious ceremonies is still very traditional, and while not deliberately exclusive, it definitely doesn’t reflect lots of relationships. You deserve a ceremony that fits you both perfectly – no compromises or crossed fingers!
3.
With a celebrant wedding – Your celebrant has your back!
When you choose to be creative in your wedding planning, shunning the ‘standard’ and being authentic to yourselves, you may face questions and challenges. Know that as your wedding celebrant, I will always have your back and be on your side! I’ll make sure you get the ceremony you want, whatever that looks like, no matter what other people think. Nevertheless, she persisted! Nevertheless, we persist!
4.
With a celebrant – You can involve family, friends and fur-babies in your ceremony!
While your big day will focus on the two of you. There may well be other loved ones that you want to involve in different ways.
Perhaps you want your schnauzer to be your canine ring-bearer or both sets of grandparents to add ribbons to your handfasting wedding knot. You might even want your friends to lead a wedding sing-a-long to your love song! All of these things (and so many more) are possible at a celebrant ceremony!
It might also be the case that there are people, important to you both, who are no longer with us. As your celebrant, I can also advise and support you if you’d like a sensitive way to honour them as part of your ceremony.
5.
With a celebrant- You can include wedding rituals to reflect your unique situation
There are so many wedding rituals to choose from to symbolise your partnership. Perhaps you want your different cultures reflected on your wedding day or for all of your children to play a role in celebrating your new blended family. Exchanging rings is just one option, and while it’s lovely, it is the only wedding ritual that is included in civil ceremonies. What if you want to be able to include a different or additional symbolic act?
In fact – If you have a civil ceremony you cannot have any ritual that has any connotation to any faith. So you may find that blending all the elements of your shared heritages isn’t an option. So what options are there in a celebrant wedding? You might want to consider:
Ring-warming
Handfasting
Lighting a Unity Candle
Sand Blending
Planting a Tree
Sharing a drink from the Quaich
6.
With a celebrant wedding – You handpick the person at the end of the aisle!
Your wedding or civil partnership will be a day when you want to be surrounded by people you like and love, now more than ever am I right? So wouldn’t it be great if the person with you at the front, the one sharing your story and gently guiding you through your vows, was someone you had chosen and had the chance to get to know? While still having all the training and experience you just don’t get with even the most trusted friend!
Having a celebrant means you can do just that. Your ceremony will be delivered by someone you have come to know, like and trust. Not just by the person allocated to your date and who you meet that morning.
7.
With a celebrant ceremony- You can have your wedding outdoors, at home or absolutely ANYWHERE you like!
Always dreamed of getting married on a hilltop? Want to hold your wedding at the coffee shop where you met? Want a relaxed wedding ceremony in your garden under your favourite tree? With a celebrant wedding, you can do just that!
Perhaps you want to say your vows in a beach wedding ceremony or use the backdrop of your local art gallery as a wedding venue, or maybe your gran isn’t well enough to travel so you want to get married in her garden. With a celebrant ceremony, you can have your wedding ceremony exactly where you want.
Sounds fabulous right? I hope you’ll agree that there are so many reasons why you should have a celebrant ceremony!!
FYI… Is a celebrant wedding legally recognised?
At the moment, celebrant ceremonies are sadly not legally recognised in England or Wales. They have been recognised in Scotland since 2005 and are now legally recognised in Jersey and Northern Ireland. But don’t despair! You can still have a feel-good, fabulous personalised celebrant ceremony. I can advise on how you can obtain a statutory legal registration from your local register office for usually around £50. You say all the legally required words, but you don’t have to include any of the ‘wedding-y’ bits unless you want to. You can choose to do this in the days, weeks or even months running up to your celebrant ceremony, or even on the day itself. I’m happy to help you figure out the right plan for you.
Non Traditional Wedding Photography 